Post 200! Ok tt's just a random trivia for ur to know. Other than tt, post 200 has totally no meaning whatsoever.

Interesting thing i read today. It's called Pascal's Wager. Basically the thought process goes like this: If God exists, and u believe in God, you'll go to heaven. And therefore be able to enjoy heavenly afterlife. And if God doesnt exist, but you still believe in a god, it's ok, u have nothing to lose. However, if God exists, and u dun believe in God, then u will go to hell and suffer eternal punishment.

So from what i've described, it seems like believing is the only way to go. Why, cos if u believe, then at least there's some chance of a benefit. Whereas, if u dun believe, there's no benefit at all, and rather, there's a chance of a loss.

Apparently, this is what some evangelists preach to pple. And it almost makes perfect sense.

But there's a very good answer to this "wager". And it's called the Aethist's Wager. Basically, you dun have to spend your whole life thinking abt whether this God exists or not. Just spend your whole life doing something good and worthwhile.

So when you die, people will remember you for all the deeds you've done. And if there really is a God, he being a good God, will send you to heaven nonetheless. And if there isnt a God afterall, it still isnt so bad, cos everyone remembers u like a hero or smthing. And if there is a God, but he's a fucker who still sends u to hell even though u are a good person but doesnt believe in him, then it doesnt really matter whether u believe at all already, since he's such a fucker and there's no point believing in a fucker as we've all learnt in life.

The entire argument is alittle bit more complex, but the above is just my version of it. So yea. I dun believe in the existence of a omnipotent entity. I believe in me though. I call it Chang-ism. Anyone wanna subscribe to this new-found religion? Start tithing u bitches!

Just some random thoughts, phrases, whatever.

Koyuki told me he's leaving the scene. Guess the Singapore market isnt really catered to Japanese hardcore metal after all. Though his reason was because he picked up a left hand injury. I wonder if tt's the real reason. Well at least working in the real world gets the dough in.

Tml is bidding day. This sem's timetable is so gonna suck ass. I know it. And i have a feeling i might not get the module tt i really wanted. It sucks ass x2. Sometimes it makes u wonder what's up with every allocation system in the world.

I wonder when i'm gonna start reading Fooled by Randomness. The fact tt it was photocopied and binded just makes the appeal drop like 50%. Not tt i dislike the topic. But the presentation is just tricky. I wonder how to flip the pages. Tricky.

It's interesting to see why so many people are enthralled by this Harry Potter craze. Sometimes i cannot understand herd mentality, yet somehow or another we cannot break away from this syndrome. It's like hard-wired into our systems. Nature dictate us to flock together so tt we can work together and survive.

I've kinda like set my adjustable to abt half it's maximum height, so tt my vision is line with the monitor. Ok, forget abt tt previous line, it's actually the minimum height. Yea i just realised tt. Completely retarded me. So which is better, a lower chair? Or a higher display. I think i shall try a higher display and see how it turns out. Ok it feels kinda too high at the moment. And there's like too much empty space at the bottom. Mmm. Let's keep it on for 1 night.

Mmm maybe i shld use my linear algebra textbook to prep it up. Tt will do. I dun see myself using tt txt in the near future. Hmm, maybe mathematical statistics will be a better support. Let's see... Ok nvm. I'm getting used to this ridiculous configuration of my desktop. And ok it seems somewhat like a recipe for destruction, which is actually good, cos i can thus convince myself to buy a spanking new 19" LCD! Roar!

Treated my dad to Botak again. Well I'm beginning to get tired of the double botak burger already, so i might wanna try the following the nxt time i visit: Rosemary Lamb Chop, Swanky Franky, and probably the steaks. The lamb chop was actually good, but the meat portion was too small imho, so probably have to order the large. Fries were overkill as usual, but today we had coleslaw overkill. Yea, it was madness. I wonder what's the budget for fries and coleslaw at Botak. They seem to have a massive surplus in this 2 side dishes.

New music tt i can intro? Larry Carlton. Very nice easy listening smooth jazz/blues fusion mishmash. U know how i dun really like to genre-ise music. Pure instrumental, but the tunes sound more relaxing and groovy than sexy. I've yet to hear something really sexy. Probably it has to do with alot of saxophone. Saxophone, sexy, they sound close. I think maybe it's time to get some Kenny G.

Ok it's late. 3 am. 3 hrs off my desired time of rest. Good night.

One of my female friend's MSN nick read: Chivalry should be inculcated into every Singaporean man. I dun really quite get what chivalry is abt. To me, it means something like stepping to help defend a damsel in distress kinda thing. Or in ah beng terms, pick a fight when needed.

Apparently she's one girl tt appreciates such kinda behaviour. Conversely, Shirui's one tt doesnt approve of such behaviour. It's weird how women think. Personally, i wouldn't go around picking a fight even when provoked. Unless i get fucking pissed. For some wrong reasons. It's not even abt the ego at stake. Sometimes, u just wanna fuck someone up. Pure simple reason.

But anyways, i dun think Singaporean men are tt un-chivalrous (spell check here). Especially since most of us went thru NS. There's always some pride in every man. The ego. So if a guy din help u (a girl) when u needed help, it's not tt he's un-chivalrous. It's either tt: you are not pretty enough/ he really has something more impt to do than to help u this poor whiny weakling/ he was really not aware tt someone needs help. Under all normal circumstances, a guy would help a girl. Tt's like law of nature man.

Bah, everything is bullshit. I'm just ranting.

I hate it when pple take me for granted. Or when they invade my personal space. Or when they think they can decide to do certain things without my permission. Let me say something, WHEN IT COMES TO STUFF BELONGING TO ME, I GUARD IT FIERCELY.

So dun mess ard with me. And dun put words into my mouth. And unless it's a binding contract, I can change my fucking mind anytime i want. Face it. It's my rules.

Sorry to everyone tt knows me, for i am extremely individualistic. So, dun really count too much on your "friendship" with me. To you, it may mean everything. But only i know whether it means something. Then again, when u know u are great friends with me, probably yea we are. When u can't say something like tt, yea probably u are dispensible to me.

Have i reminded u all of my viewpoint on friends?

Sometimes it's irritating for pple who nv bothered to contact u for years to suddenly wanna come and talk to you, and burden you with their life problems and blah. And all they rant abt is the old times. And it gets boring, cos u wanna move on but these people are like just freeze framed in time. I wonder what makes them tick.

Johnson's pretty nice, he's posted up "Birds and the Beez" on S.O.F.T. to... well, just get some listens and awareness for such a beautiful track (i hope.) Here's the url to the thread:

http://soft.com.sg/web/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=38837

So any softies here, might wanna go give ur support or something? I dunno what's the underlying aim, but i guess, since it's just a tribute, more pple shld be listening. Post something i guess, keep the thread alive. Maybe one day Beez will hear it himself. I wonder how tt will turn out.

When it comes to stuff like tt, i'm pretty shy abt it. It's not like sports, where everything is pretty much defined in terms of absolute numbers. If you are good enough to flaunt it, more or less u know it. Music is somewhat grey-ish. A man's meat is another man's poison, or whatever the saying goes. Yea, so u can't really go about flaunting ur wares, cos it just ain't right sometimes.

Thus i always believe tt if i were ever good enough, other people will publicize it for me. So u can pretty much sense how good i am at the moment la. Hahahahahahahahha. Mock laughter. I wonder how come i can type haha, when i'm having a glum face right now.

It's weird how alot of things function in this world. Apparently it's just meant to be like tt. Life is irrational.

It's undeniable tt Dream Theater is still my favourite band. Listening to "The Spirit Carries On" from Live Scenes. Brilliant song, brilliant vocals from both Labrie and Theresa, brilliant solo from Petrucci. Brilliant drumming from Portnoy, accompanied brilliantly by Myung, and of course Rudess who tickles the keys so beautifully.

I'm in love with the piano sound. It's beautiful. Every song shld have piano. It just screams ROMANTIC!

Too bad i can't really get my MDA piano vstplugin to work. Or else every song would have realistic piano sound. Or maybe i can employ some of my grade 8/diploma piano friends to help out.

Ok i'm blabbering rubbish. Forgive me, for i'm a tired man right now. Just took my ippt. Silver again. I highly doubt i can ever get gold again, unless i go run every single day. Which is pretty impossible. The energy pack i consumed din really have much of an effect at all. Maybe i took it too late. Shrug.

200 dollars ain't tt shoddy. At least it can cover 1 meal of botak jones for the entire family this coming sunday. Not bad at all. Double botak here i come!

Suddenly, i have this urge to go out and be the rhythm guitarist tt no other guitarist wants to be. Everyone wants to shred, wants to play the guitar solo. I say fuck tt, play rhythm, strum, riff all the way, fill in some licks here and there. Yea i want to be this guitarist. If i'm in a band, i want to fill this role. I want to be part of the backbone of the song. I want to be the world's greatest unknown rhythm guitarist. Tt would be a nice thought.

To start off this rhythmic voyage, i'm currently learning Erotomania. Chock full of riffs from Dream Theater riffs. No, i'm not gonna touch the solo, it's too extravagant, too difficult for me. But the main rhythm line is equally challenging, and gives my fingers a good workout. I'm halfway thru the song, and i've only spent 2 hrs on it so far. Seems like i can really finish learning 1 Dream Theater song after all. Amazing.

Han Yuan has once again asked me to join his band. But i feel it's abit surplus to requirements. I know he really likes to play with me, cos we have good chemistry. Probably i'll work on learning his list of DT songs, then maybe i have a good chance of playing with his pro band. Yea they are good, doing DT stuff. Madness.

Actually i was thinking of something like this: If anyone wants me to join his/her band, i'll kindly reject, but i'll learn their repetoire. So if they need a backup guitarist, i'll fill in for the moment. I like this idea. Don't have to be too commited, yet still be able to play a variety of styles. I have Han Yuan's repetoire, what about yours?

Mmm, this seems to be my way of avoiding pressure. I've got enough pressure piled on me. Does anyone know? I think only 1 person knows. She knows who she is. Can i escape? Can't. It's not the right thing to do either. So i have to face this pressure, while trying to avoid other pressure coming onto me. It's tricky.

Johnson keeps wanting to promote my music somehow. I've no idea why, i feel humbled yet big headed at the same time. No offense, but it's just a hobby, it's not exactly nice, i dun play/sing exceptionally well, the songs are really just simple rehashed stuff. And if they really probe into my recording procedures they will realise i'm using p****** copies of wonderful software to record. Now, we wouldnt want tt do we? Not to mention my super wonderful library of semi-p****** music.

I'm flattered bro. I'm really contented to be just a internet hero. Its amazing how someone whom i've only met twice can be so enthusiatic abt what i do. I dunno what do say. Thanks.

Sorry for the emo-ness in this post. "The Spirit Carries On" is quite an emotional song. It's on repeat now.

Thanks everyone who have help shaped my musical journey in one way or another.

Initially, i wanted to try and type something. And then 2 of my friends needed my much valuable love advice. One just got attached, and the other is wondering if her guy likes her.

So, sorry for this empty post. I really tried.

If u need a listening ear regarding ur love life, u can always MSN me. Or dial 1900-I-WAN-SEX.

New song update: "Birds and the Beez", a tribute to my guitar teacher, Beez. Yea the song title is a little play on his name. Oh well, i'm not very good with song titles so sorry for the cheese.

Heres' the song, just press play:

Lyrics:
So, there's a man whom i went to
With my guitar and its case
He showed me some chords, then he really started to play
He showed me all the cool licks, and the many different ways
to play the guitar he said.

Well, he said "Rhythm is important, you've gotta watch the clock"
"You've gotta keep the tempo, or you'll never ever rock"
"Even though, you're tired, you shouldnt ever stop"
"Cos That's the way to play", he said

"Well if you wanna be like Gilbert, if you wanna play like Malmy"
"I can teach you arpeggios, cos they sound really crazy"
"You can pick, tap and sweep, you can do those whammy things"
"You'll make your solos sound so sweet"

"But its the blues that's the soul of everything"
"You've got to keep the blues flowing through your veins"
"It takes just 1 bend to convey your feelings"
"With the blues you can play everything"

"With the blues you can play everything"

So here's the story of the man, who taught me how to rock
I'm grateful for his teachings so here i'm writing this song
"You've got to spread the music, you've got to share the knowledge"
"Cos That's the way to play", he said x3

Anyways, this is my first time playing some country rock, or i believe it to be country-sounding. And this is also the first time i tried some slide licks, pretty fun actually. It gives another dimension to your sound i guess. Oh and it's this first time tt i wrote a song without a chorus. It's weird how the song doesnt sound weird at all. I can't really explain it, but u just have to listen to it to get what i mean.

And yea, i'm singing again. Mixed response, some say it doesnt sound like me, some say it's just as bad, some say it's better. I get the drift haha, but at least i tried my best to deliver.

Recording-wise, this project took me about 2 weeks. Cos i was working, so yea i dun really have anytime to sit down and record everything in one go. So almost every track was recorded in different days, and everyday i'd just sit down and listen, and redo anything i din like. It's like a little jigsaw tt u piece together. I used to hate to record this way, but surprisingly it turned out pretty well.

Editing-wise, i realised quite a number of mistakes tt i've made in the past, so yea i wun be repeating those mistakes ever again. Everytime i mix, i learn something new. So yea it's kinda rewarding this time round. Not really just trial and error anymore.

Umm, yea tt's abt it. I dun really have much to say already. Oh if anyone happens to be really close to Beez u can let him hear this song. I think he will appreciate it.

That's all for now. Probably post something else later. Bye.

I think my previous post was kinda confusing, or maybe i just din manage to express my thought processes clearly.

The general gist on what i was trying to get across is: hard work will let you survive, and probably give u a comfortable life. Pure luck will determine whether u hit it big or not.

So yea Nick, u got my idea. Tt's good, but i beg to differ on "the harder i work, the luckier i get". My bro has quite a good quote: "Luck = preparation meets opportunity", which i largely believe to be true. Preparation is hard work, like we are all clear on this. Opportunity is the big break i'm talking about here.

Apparently life is pretty much about this preparation + opportunity equation. U need both to really succeed in life. The only thing we can really control is preparation. Opportunity, on the hand, is pretty much dictated by the man above. If life dictates you to have an opportunity, though probably it comes when u are aged 50, then it will mean tt u will be successful at 50. So it will all depend on whether u've work hard for the past 50 years to finally hit the jackpot.

And that's if life dictates u to have an opportunity. The thing is, are we sure we will ever be successful nxt time? I can't be sure. No one can. So it's possible to work hard all your life, to only be another average Joe, because by nature's laws, u are not supposed to have an opportunity.

What i'm not advocating is, to be a slacker, since we never know if something's gonna really happen. What i'm trying to say is tt, we shld work hard still, but not with the dream of making it big. Cos it's gonna feel very terrible everyday to think of making it, when u don't see anything big happening yet. Probably your big break will nv come and u'll die a bitter man.

TE got his big break yes, at age 40+? Or at least to me, he's getting famous these few years. I admire his determination and all tt, but what if he never made it? Will he be as happy and cheerful as we know? We might not know. Lincoln might just be another unhappy politician if he never got elected to be President.

Tt's the thing, i dun wanna live my life going crazy over this "making it big" idea. If one subscribes to this thought, yes for the first few years it's gonna be motivating, then struggling, then when the big break comes u can heave a sigh of relief. But if it nv comes, you're gonna die a unhappy man.

I'd prefer to just do my part everyday, and work towards a slightly better life. Tt's all. And if any opportunity comes, i'll still be prepared for it. If it doesnt happen, it's ok. My mind is less occupied by any "making it big" ideas, i still work as hard and get my deserved share of life. It's more carefree, yet somewhat prepared. And probably it's a more practical choice for a practical person like me.

I'm not asking anyone to subscribe to my ideals, cos everyone should have their own opinion. It's cool. I'm just offering another point of view for all the MLM-ers, rockstar-to-bes, and Warren Buffets-to-bes.

You can make it big, tt's provided there's an opportunity for you to.

I wanted to go on abt the idea tt 1 lucky instance in your life will lead to more good stuff coming your way. It's kinda like a guy like me tt strikes 1 million lottery, and then with my technical know-how i invest my money and make bigger returns and so on. And therefore i become a rich man kinda thing. But yea it's probably gonna get long, and i have to go practise for my IPPT now.

Let's hope i dun sprain my ankle today. It might happen u know.

After a watching "Match Point"+ a small discussion with Nick + a small discussion with Shirui on the book " Fooled by Randomness", it dawned on me tt almost everything tt happens in life is by chance. It's like either u have the luck, or u dun have it. Pure randomness.

The basic premise of my though process is like this: Hard work is mandatory in life. Hard work basically ensures that u have the bare minimum for survival. Tt's like the law of life by some higher being aka God. So if u work hard in whatever u do, yes u'll get by.

So the issue here is why and how do pple excel in life? Some believe that people excel in life due to the fact tt they have a clear objective in their lives, and by working hard, they will achieve it in the end no matter what. All it takes is the never-say-die attitude.

Let's take for example, a musician. As long as he/she keeps working on his technique, his music knowledge, keeps getting gigs, markets himself well, does the PR thing right, he's gonna be successful? I believe tt is not the case. Millions of musicians worldwide are doing their thing, but yet only a handful made it big. One needs a hit song, and from what i know, u can't just write a song, let alone a hit song. It's the moment of inspiration thing, the moment tt u know it's good. It's by chance. Now u think u have a hit song, u need to convince pple tt your song is a hit song. That is highly determined by the current music trend in the market. It might be hip hop at the moment but ur churning out some classical piece. Now even if u think u have a hit song, and everyone agrees you have a hit song, the record producers still dun think they shld sign u. Y? Cos u look like roadkill. Can u dictate stuff like tt? Tt's totally by chance too.

It's just like investing. Everyone invests. Y do only a select few make it big like Warren Buffet and Robert Kiyosaki? The world is so big, and only they are the ones who are able to identify the market trends? Y does the rest of the pple who invest make only a decent sum to lead a more comfortable life? You can't predict the stock market, so it just happens tt u believe tt this particular stock is gonna rise tml and therefore you buy a significant amount, and luckily it really did rise, and thus u become rich.

Another example, Apple vs Creative. Did Apple create the most complete mp3 player? No, it just made a pretty and simple one and marketed it aggressively. It happened to be the first of it's kind tt's so handy and convenient, tt it took the world by storm. And the fact tt it attacked first meant tt Creative was left with no chance. Creative made good mp3 players. They are complete, with looks and function. And it's cheaper. With common sense it tells u it's a better choice between the 2. But luck dictates tt Apple wins, Creative's hardwork and sound product strategy cannot defeat randomness.

Yiwei made a good point, and tt's the discovery of gravity. What's the probability of a scientist(Isaac Newton) sitting beneath an apple tree, to have an apple drop on his head and therefore trigger his thought processes on gravity? And what are the odds of a person surviving a knock from a falling fruit? It could probably kill him right there if he was really unlucky. But Isaac Newton was a hard working man, he would discover gravity someday somehow and become great. Or maybe someone other scientist might be sitting under tt tree tt day and take all his hard work away. It might happen you know.

Personally, i have had my experiences with luck. Last year, i was training for my ippt. So i ran everyday, did my PT u know.. worked hard. But, 1 month before my test, during a run, i tried to sidestep a pedestrian. And i missed my footing, so i twisted my ankle. Twisting your ankle during a run is quite wtf. Twisting your ankle during a run 1 mth before your ippt is wtf x2. You tell me, was i unlucky? Or i din not work hard enough? Maybe i should done a Le Parkour over tt fella instead.

But of course, successful people will always share with you their strategies and their mindset. They write books, do interviews to let pple know how to become successful. To me, tt's somewhat bullshit. Yes, they are really hardworking, but what they dun tell you is the lucky break they've got. How would you react if Warren Buffet said "You know, i got really lucky for this particular investment. I just happen to buy it for diversification, but god knows, the price just skyrocketed. And here i am, Warren Buffet, the man u look up to for investment knowledge." I doubt any successful person would say something like tt. It just totally goes against the norm.

I believe for every 1 successful person, there will be 99 not-as-successful pple out there. And probably some of them would tell you tt their "super big break" din not come as planned, and therefore they could not make it very big. Just so so big. So 1 person telling you tt luck is overrated, compared to 50 pple telling you tt it's all abt luck, which side would you believe?

Luck can snow ball. It happens in life, and by Murphy's Law, it will happen in life no matter how improbable the odds are. U can be extremely charmed throughout your life, or u can be extremely suay all the way. It happens, and u cannot do anything about it at all i believe.

Imagine being born into an African tribe family. Do you think you can overcome all odds to become the top businessman in the world by pure hard work? Or do you think u really need Bill Gates to fly into Africa and adopt you as his son before u really have a shot at it?

Think abt it.

I have to say i have this evil habit of cyber-stalking. Like snooping on other pple's blogs, friendster, blah blah. Damn, i think i shld become a private detective on something. Seems like it's totally in my genes. Oh yea not to mention google really makes it easy for one to check up on somebody. Just have to know the keywords to type ^^.

Sorry, i dunno what this confession is about, but i think i just have to let it out somehow.

Quite a number of my "friends" have broken up with their partners. And they've managed to get hold of new ones. Seems like i'm the only one tt's sticking in it for the long haul. I'm not complaining, but it's just interesting to observe the phenomenon happening. Kinda defies most statistical odds.

Someone once mentioned a very long time ago tt, i was only toying with my girlfriend. Tt the girl i really liked wasnt her, and all tt bullshit. I wonder how tt came about, but i guess tt person would have to eat her table now or smthing. Crazy thoughts and crazy words coming out from crazy pple.

Sidetrack: my delete button just doesnt work. Interesting.

Anyways, i jammed with Xiang and Biao today. It still felt like 3 years ago. Or issit 4 yrs ago. Meaning, everyone is still stagnant, we couldnt really do everything right. But it was alright, since we were just there to test out the new cymbals tt Xiang bought. And frankly speaking, i dun really hear much difference as the room is just extremely acoustically unbalanced. The sound just ricochets off everything, and all the sound is just muddled up. Well as long as he is happy, it's fine. A man who buys new gear will always be happy. For 6 months.

Plugging for a friend: Please buy J-Rock band R.E.I's latest CD album "Revelations" for only $14.90 @ rei.koyuki@hotmail.com. I cannot guarantee tt it is good.

And yea i cant see my tagboard yet again. I'm struggling with the decision to change to Daniel's, but his looks so much uncool with tt little symbols at the top. I still prefer my slick black one. Just tt it dies on me so often.

Oh and this part is for Shirui: Today i played ball with a pretty gal! Lalalala. I'm also having fun in SG ^^. Ok, not really playing ball with her, more like she's shooting in the same court as me. And she keep picking ball for me. So nice. This kind of gf is good. One tt pick balls for the bf. Lots to learn u have to young padawan. Roar!

Ok, tt's so gonna get me killed. But tt's how our relationship works. Be open with everything. At least the impact isnt tt bad. I hope.

Something to point out: I find it very distressing to speak to someone in Mandarin, if all along i was speaking to him/her in English. To add to the stress, said person isnt very good in Chinese to begin with, so i dun really see his/her point to convert half-fuckly to Mandarin mid way thru the conversation, cos in the end he/she will change back to English. Yea. It's weird. Moral of the story: The language i speak to u in, is kinda fixed. Meaning the first day i hit u with English, u are pretty much a "i must speak English to this person". Same goes for the other language. But there are exceptions. Like Shirui, Kai, maybe Yiwei, and probably newer people tt i havent really settled in the language thing with them yet.

I wonder if there are any professional-sounding musicians tt gives away their music for free. If Britney Spears gave her music away for free, would she dominate the world market and what not? Seems like it's impossible, since the reason for the domination is via advertising, and the reason to advertise is because of it's sales potential. I wonder if there's any like word-of-mouth songs tt's going around and is dominating the world market. Mmm, maybe happy birthday?

I've typed a bunch of random crap today. I guess tt's the way this blog will slowly end up to be. Full of random stuff, randomly updated, with a tagboard tt randomly decides to malfunction. And once in a random while, a random genre-d song will be uploaded, listened by randomly interested people. And then it will be forgotten, and get archived with the rest of the random songs.

I like this whole idea of random. Maybe i shld really write 1 random song. I wonder how random tt could be. If there's a plan, then it isnt random. Gah, nvm i think it's bullshit

And yea, time to snooze. It's 2am. Work work.