I've realised there's only so much tt u can try to know abt other pple.

Ultimately it still boils down to whether they wanna let u know or not.

Friends? Yea good for a day. A borrowed pedal, borrowed notes, borrowed homework. Yea friends.

Been talking to her this afternoon and just now. Realised tt some cute guys are supposedly trying to get close to her. Weird, are the girls over there tt bad? Or is she really turning super hot in a mth? Hmm. Either case let's pray she'll stay true to me. I know she will, just wanna make sure.

I dun have hot chicks trying to hook up a conversation with me lor. It's so unfair.

IVP's started it's first training yesterday. Pretty tough shit. From what i know it's only half of what they are actually doing. Which means bad news, cos i was already dead tired halfway through. Fitness is still low, mind is still not strong. Lack of focus. I've never perspired so much in my life, not even NDU days seriously. NDU is nothing compared to IVP i swear. U guys shld see the giant puddle of sweat tt i wrung out from my jersey yesterday. Gross shit.

I dun see myself in the starting 12. There are at least 4 senior guards ahead of me. If i'm in, i'll be like 5th choice at least. Do they need 5 guards? Hardly. And Chengda says he'll help me to get in. Which i think, pls dun. Cos i wanna prove myself. Been feeling that all my life everywhere i go somehow it's because of some strings attached. Only when i was in NJ i felt really good. A place where no one knows who i am, and it's a fresh place.

Coming to TH is like going back to a comfort zone. The seniors know me cos of my brother. And becos of tt, they try to help as much as they can.

I say, stop helping. If i can't make it, just means i'm not up it. No big deal.

It's always better to live in the reality than in a fairytale. It least it seems more real. And when it really crashes down u dun feel the pain. Like in NJ, when we lost all our matches, I still felt good at the end of the day. Cos the team is my pride and joy. I gave my all to the team at least. And that's when u start earning respect from ur peers.

Respect means alot to me. It's earned through sheer hard work and dedication.

Shit to u if at any point of your life u got through not because of your own capabilities.

No idea what i'm rambling abt already.

Still waiting for u to come online.