Finally get to see Gabriel once again. My ex-hall neighbour, in fact the closest guy im with in hall together with Colin. They are what i like to call buddies, cos even though we havent met for quite a while, everything clicks back without a hitch. And we like to take care of kittens.

Speaking of friends, i do have a very warped take on it. Partly due to my cynical personality i guess. Friends, to me in the simplest of simplest definition, are pple that i turn to when i need something. Of course there are various things tt i can ever need like help, company, answers for homework, a listening ear,... everything and anything u can imagine of actually.

So technically speaking, my "friends" exist for various reasons. The IT friends exist because they can help with hardware, software issues. The Guitar friends exist because they can help with guitar problems. The school friends exist because of homework, bidding of modules. Though it may seem very saddening that my relationships with people has become so warped, i take heart in that these people "befriend" me for the same exact reasons as well.

We all need help. That's y we are "friends".

I really hate to use this word friend, cos it has already lost it's meaning due to over-usage. A person whom u met 3 mins ago and barely caught his name is a friend. A person whom u got to know through internet, but never met in real person and never knew his real name till 5 mins ago is also a friend. The coffeeshop uncle is also a friend because u are a regular customer.

Our relationships with majority of our "friends" have became so shallow, that calling them as friends is a joke. Seriously, if u look through your friendster account and start deleting people that u really dun give a shit about, chances are that only abt 10% of them are pple u really give a shit about. And about 60% of them are the people that are your ex-classmates and deleting them off will put u in a weird position in the nxt class gathering. The rest of them are just filler people. Really, filler people.

I believe i have alot of filler people in my msn list. I have about 200 people there right now, and i only talk to about 20 of them. Serious.

I see no point in initiating a chat with someone which i barely give a shit about. Because it works for that person tt way too. He/she too, doesn't really give a shit about u as well. That's y there' no talk. But you guys are friends. See the irony?

So back to my definition of friends, or people that i turn to when i need something. They solely exist because i need their presence around. So that my problems can be solved asap. Tt's about it. But being the nice me, i try to work on these relationships as well, partly due to the reason that with a improved relationship, comes improved help. I do not deny that, cos that's how the world ticks btw. Get real.

But but, dun put me down as yet! I'm not so saddist and unfeeling of a person la. There exist a special group of "friends" whom i would like to term as... Buddies! Yes, buddies are special people in my life. They exist because we have crossed paths during sometime of our lives, and we share a special connection. These people are the people i truly truly give a shit about. 100% shit. And i know all/most of their secrets/stories/bloopers inside out. They are the people that i would die to save them. Yea.

So in summary of this big rant:

In my life

1. There are people i dun care about. They regularly get deleted off my handphone, my msn, my friendster. Please do not even associate me as a friend.
2. "Utility" friends. Useful people. Nice to know u guys. Of course i would love to know you guys better.
3. Buddies. Thanks for everything. You all have shaped me into who i am. Kudos.

I really do not have to drop names here and there to tell who belongs to which group. Feel for yourself. Like a wonderful quote which i just came up myself: "How much you care for a person, is usually how much he/she cares about you."

So true.. especially in my context. I can sense this kind of things very strongly. Like Gab and Shirui said, my people sensing skills are relatively sharp. I know who's the guy to stick with, and who's the fucker to avoid.

Anyways note to Gab, why worry so much about someone badmouthing you, when you dun even give a shit about tt bitch. Save ur strength and worry for someone that u really care about ^^.